More thoughts on Christmas...

I should probably put a "Deeply Spiritual and Mind Provoking" on this post...read on at your own risk.

I would rather not use my blog as a podium to preach on, “I believe this..”  “I can’t believe that..” However, after listening to the podcast of another dead-on sermon by Geoff Bradford (of Liberti Church) I feel I should confess a few things. 

I found myself getting irrationally angry at a cozy romantic Christmas commercial the other day.  I don’t watch much TV here in Italy, and we normally don’t get westernized commercials like those broadcasted in America.  So, for me to see a happy couple fawning over each other on the television, I felt like the ostentatious romanticism that comes along with an American Christmas was following me to Italy.  When in actuality, I know why I saw that commercial. 

I have long prided myself on being a fabulous “independent woman” (which I no doubt am…) and I would be the first one to bark at someone for insinuating I find a boyfriend, or roll my eyes at a girl in love.  There is a fine line between being secure enough with myself to not need another person to “complete me” and letting that image poison any notion of loving another. 

I think we can all attest to the awful mix of joy and pain in the holiday season.  Even as a Christian, I often find myself feeling empty around this time of year, dreading being the only one without a date on Christmas, dreading the inevitable inquiries from family to my romantic life, and those awful commercials, films, and advertisements that scream “You need someone on Christmas!” 

Geoff’s sermon focuses on the hurt and dissatisfaction that many of us feel around the holidays.  It is only human nature that we long for things.  In fact, I’m pretty sure you’d get a roll of the eyes if you ran around telling people how happy and content you are with everything in your life.  Well, the people of Israel were dissatisfied and hurting too.  They had waited almost four hundred years without a word from God, and then he delivered them a savior. 

God knows how dissatisfied we are.  God wants us to confess our longings and desires to him.  Only then can he begin to heal our wounds that we think are too deep to repair.  Christmas is the perfect time to confess our longings, just as I am to you.  It is the perfect time to be honest and humble, saying, “I know I am broken, and sad, and long for things other than what I claim.”  Believe me, putting this on paper (virtual paper), and clicking “publish post” was not an easy thing to do.  Why do I want all my friends and family who read this blog to know my innermost weaknesses?  It may seem strange to some but for me, this is me, telling you, that I am broken, and long for things that I often claim I don’t.   Even as a “Christian”, I turn away from my Gods saving grace, and seep deeper into my little pool of self-pity. 

If you’ve actually reached this far, and are not completely confused/annoyed/bored, I ask that you too be honest in this Christmas time.  When we are honest with ourselves and our loved ones about our flaws, we are being honest with God.  I know that every drop of insecurity I have been telling you is washed away by the salvation that I get in Jesus Christ, even if it does take a lot of prying and crying to get it out of me.  I am not perfect, in fact I am the opposite, but I can rest in the joy that this season brings, because this season brings me a savior…and Lord knows I’m in need of one.

mixed holiday feelings

so for those of you who don't know, i will be spending the holidays here in rome with my very near and dear 'lizbear' and 'wife' a.k.a. - sarah p.  as the days roll by (and they are rolling by VERY fast),  i get all giddy and excited to see my girls.  i have almost every second filled up with making cookies, shopping for the PERFECT cheeses and salumi, running around rome with silly santa hats, and snuggling with "cioccolato caldo" or hot chocolate - italian style.  i am flabbergasted (did i really just use that word?) that they will actually be here in one week, and even more grateful to have them here.  i don't know what the holidays would be like without loved ones by your side..

that being said, i also have to take this moment to express the other half of me that is completely heartbroken that i won't be home for christmas.  granted,  christmas with the lawless's usually includes my brother's girlfriend crying over something he did, me screaming at my mother because you can't find anything in her kitchen, and then there is of course the countless reminders that i'm the only "single" one at the table.  i must admit - there are few things i could live without, but there are so many things i will miss about not being home.  who will design a ridiculously difficult gingerbread house with j.p?  (which NEVER gets finished...except that one time when we were 10 and 12).  who will make my uncle greg his decorated sugar cookies that take FOREVER to decorate?  who will sit up until 2 a.m. finishing wrapping presents with rich and maria while we drink decaf coffee as if it will give us more energy?  who will play really bad renditions of christmas carols at the murphy's house?  who will watch "elf" with michael and justin and answer the phone saying "buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?"   who will get the christmas box this year between me, steph, and liz?  this will be my first year missing christmas eve breakfast at liz's (christmas eve breakfast consists of pancakes and cookies - healthy! it's the best).  

we all have our traditions and christmas customs.  i know i will miss snow, and the christmas houses on washington ave, and those ridiculous blow-up christmas displays that have replaced all the beautiful lights that once graced pizza mountain.  i will miss sitting with sandee and bruce for hours talking about life and gossiping about all the people that we've lost touch with.  i'll miss the swedish choir concert with their delectable Glögg and their even more delectable conductor!  

will all this said, i know i am going to have the christmas of a life time... i just don't want anyone to think that i've completely forgotten how wonderful christmas is at home (even if it is in scranton :P).  i'll make sure we take LOTS of pictures and drink LOTS of wine in your honor.  a very happy christmas season to all <3

idioms.

so i'm teaching some of my students idioms, as they are essential to english conversation.  however, I'VE never heard of these idioms.  tell me if you have...or if they've actually been used in the last 50 years.  i'm thinking about bringing some back.

i didn't study for the test tomorrow, so it looks like i'll be burning the midnight oil.  

man, i'm really bushed, i better get to bed.  (umm..could have some bad connotations.  not bringing this one back.)

How's the chow in the university cafeteria? (TOTALLY bringing this one back)

that's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

got a hitch in your giddy-up? (swear it's for real.)

i'll just leave you to stew in your own juices. (not sure if this one should have ever been created at all) 

have any funny idioms you'd like to share?  i'm waiting on bated breath.

the good, the bad, and the funny

Aside from the obvious Nutella, wine, and ridiculous amounts of beautiful people and places, Italy has some quirks I think you’d all enjoy.  Though, even though I hate to admit it, there are some amenities I miss from the states.  And although I will never get used to hummers on small philly streets or a starbucks on every corner, there are a few things where I think the US has italy beat.

The good:

1.  - Bus tickets.  They are available EVERYWHERE.  Ever go through the “oh crap I’m late and don’t have a token” rush?  Don’t fret because the tobacco shop will have a bus pass, and if they don’t I’m sure the café on the corner will!

2.  - Piazzas.  My saving grace.  1. More often than not, they are beautiful.  2. In this big city, it’s the most secure way of traveling.  When in doubt, find a piazza.  I’m sure there will be some connecting bus or marker to help you find your way.

3.  - Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.  (Literally.)

The Bad:

1.  - they don’t use towels to dry off in italy.  They use terrycloth bathrobes.  Which is fine, if that’s what you’re used to.  I’ve never been a fan of the big, heavy, and sometimes itchy robe myself, so it has taken some adjustment to wander back to my room dripping wet inside a big bathrobe.

2.  - Everyone wears jackets and long sleeves in 70 degree weather.  Like a Los Angeles winter, people are dawning their scarves and mittens while I’m prancing around in a sun-dress.  I don’t care if they know I’m American, you’re not going to get me to dress like an Eskimo in this beautiful weather.

3.  - In case you didn’t know, the first floor of every building is known as the ground floor.  That means, the “second floor” in American terms, is actually the first floor.  Sound confusing?  It is.  I’ve been here three months (wow really?) and I still haven’t gotten used to it.  I keep entering elevators and exiting one floor too short.

4.  - Carpet?  I don’t think they’ve ever heard of it.  ALL floors in italy are marble, tile, or wood.   Hence my need for slippers.  Thanks mom!

5.  - Fruit silverware.  Strange, yes.  Fruit after dinner is a normal here, a thing I like for sure.  But EVERY fruit is cut with a fork and a knife.  I definitely looked like a savage grabbing an apple after dinner the first night and taking a bite. 

6.  - Bars.  Yes, there are bars/restaurants/etc.  However, try to find one that actually has a BAR where you can sit and have a drink.  Harder than you think.

TheFunny:

Ita - Italy likes to take the most god-awful television from America and turn it into an even bigger piece of crap than it is in the states.  Whether it’s Italy’s Next Top Model, or Who wants to be a Star?  Live Italian television always seems to fall short (and fall hard.)  Watch some late night television here and you will see.  It’s like a talk show spoof on SNL, except for real.  It’s bad.