che brutto..

so i figure i owe you all an update.  my apologies.  so here's what went down this past weekend:

1. the family i had chosen to live with bailed on me because their current nanny decided to stay with them.  i can't say i blame them for their decision, but that sucked. 

2. i'm back to square one, meeting more families, etc. i have a job interview for an english teacher tomorrow.  so here's hoping!

3. after all this backwards-ness, i needed to think.  so i went to the beautiful villa borghese (equivalent of central park here in rome) and i sat by the lake, which resembles the one from fantasia.  (i'll develop that further in my next blog..)  but i'm sitting there and this old man comes over to me and asks if he could sit down.  so of course i say yes.  long story short, i have a new old man friend here in rome.  he's a composer.  he likes wagner (i told him i don't sing wagner..)

however, he was not the only friend i made.  i keep getting stopped by older gentlemen (in restaurants, outside restaurants, store owners, baristas, etc) and they give me their numbers. 

so now my purse is filled with phone numbers from old men.  only i would come to rome to be picked up by a 70 year old...

we have contact!

it's kind of embarrassing to admit, but i have joined the thousands obsessed with their iphone.  the thought of not using it here was devastating, but the thought of trying to hack it myself and ruining it would have been more devastating.  OH WELL.  i did it anyway!  and now i have my precious iphone here w/ me in italy. yay.  even better, i have an italian number now!  so everyone run out to the store and pick up an international calling card to call me!  you can call any time you'd like, and it's free for me.  i don't know how much it is for me to call you.  the instructions are in italian and i haven't ventured figuring them out yet...but call me!  

REMEMBER: east coasters - you are 6 hours behind me.  don't call me at 4 a.m.

il mio numero: +39 331 766 3395

In the name of the Father + Son and the Holy Spirit, Here goes.

It’s fo sho. I am officially staying in Rome! So I may have stolen those lines from C.S. Lewis. I actually stole them from Liberti’s new pastor Jared when he spoke a few weeks ago. So really I’m bringing this phrase full circle! I feel like I’ve just jumped into a bog and have the all the tools to get out. (bogs are not easily escapable apparently..) I have straight up come to a foreign country and in two weeks established myself with a home and job. It’ not as hard as they say! As my brother would say, “Action kills fear.” (I’m passing it on Rich!)
These past two weeks have been a whirlwind but I’m so thankful for all of the prayers and thoughts. Without them I don’t think I would be where I am today. After MUCH prayer and thinking, I decided to live with a family here in Rome with 2 young girls (15 months and 3 years). There is much reasoning for this decision but for the sake of avoiding boredom I’ll be brief. 1. I can stay and Rome and look for other work during the day while the girls are at school. 2. Rome is pretty central so a lot of other Italian cities are accessible to me. 3. I get to have sisters for once! 4. The girls are very young, so transition for them is nothing. 5. I LOVE this family.
Enough said right? I’m very happy and I’ll be sure to post pictures of my new home and family as soon as possible. It’s almost hard to believe I’m actually committing to a life here. Of course, I will see you all in May when I return for the weddings… here goes.

getting cold feet (it's probably the tile floors..)

dag it's cold.  i mean, i don't even think it's this chilly in philly this time of year... ah well, i can't complain.  autumn is my absolute favorite time of year.  this is definitely going to be a test because i experience the craziest of emotions in autumn.  we all know my birthday consumes the entire month of october, so that is upon us of course.  but also, i don't think there's a more beautiful time of year.  the colors of pennsylvania foliage, the apple cider, the cold noses.  i hope i get some of those feelings here, or i will just be devastated.  there's nothing like that first day you need a sweater.  

pumpkin picking last year...*sigh*

alas, this is one huge sacrifice i am making to be here in this european paradise.  however, i can't help but keep thinking of this family located in the north (where i of course could partake in all the luxuries of fall..).  but aside from the weather, they seem to be a wonderful family that i would love to be a part of. side note:  i feel like i'm speed dating au pair style. it's like i'm on 'the dating game' picking which bachelor is right for me...so strange.

but anyway, i have made some beautiful connections here in roma, and i don't want to leave them (and frankly i'd much rather the city than the country).  So then, why is this family still on my heart and in my mind when i have wonderful prospects here? (which i do.  i'll post pictures of the delightful family i met here in rome)  it is definitely something to pray about.  i'd love your opinions, because i'm all about hearing what my friends and family have to say.  but enough of that.  the lord is providing in abundance here.  amazing isn't it?  (i still miss you all...probably as much as i miss hot sauce.)  ;)

I'll take "Answer to Prayer" for $500

"This evening Carrie received 5 e-mails for Nanny jobs and a reference for a teaching position in Rome"

"Umm...What is..Carrie's answer to prayer?"  

"That's correct!"

    So not exactly a great jeopardy question, but i figured i had to give you something after leaving you all hanging for a few days.  my apologies.  so this is my newest news.  thank you all for your prayers and well wishes for me here in Italy.  I haven't really been able to settle down until i know completely that i will have a nice family to stay with and be able to pay my bills every month (damn student loans...).  I have learned in the past few days NOT to ask god for particular things like "hey god, i would really like to stay here in rome...so umm if you could make that happen, that would be great."  but we need to ask god what HE wants us to do.  i still don't know what he wants me to do - but i do feel that i want to be a part of a family here in rome, and really make some lifelong connections.

    i too hope to have a family of my own someday (my mother would probably like this to happen sooner than later.  "where're your italian boyfriend?!" sorry mom...none yet), and i feel that desire to be with people who you love so much now that i'm away from you all.  i tend to think my family is pretty tight and we all show up for each other for birthdays, graduations, whatever!  let's have a party!  i have also realized i have been blessed with the most loving, enduring friends a person could ever ask for.  i'm serious.  i have a KEEN talent at picking AWESOME people to be my friend.  and because i have such close bonds at home, i hope to find them here too. i know god wants me to, and that's the plan.  so i'll keep you all posted, but i have lots of doors to open in the next few days, and hopefully i'll find the perfect family for me.  

all my love,

carrie

I'm gonna be home faster than you can say Nutella..

if i don't get myself moving on getting a J.O.B.  now all i have to do is pick up the phone and call these ads for babysitting/teaching.  since all of them are pretty vague it's hard to know what is expected of me, salary, area of town, etc. so i have to try and ask all these questions on the phone.  now i know you all think i'm the most fabulous italian speaker around, but in actuality i'm pretty mediocre.  sure i can express what i'm trying to say fine, but comprehending what i'm being told at 70 words a minute is not so easy.  especially on the phone.  so now i have this crazy anxiety about calling these people for jobs.  and i've never had anxiety before so i don't really know how to handle it.  so really i could use your prayers in that sector because like i said, i'll be home faster than you can Nutella if i don't get a job.  

this place is freaking expensive! and there are only so many proscuitto and mozzerella sandwiches one can eat. so for all of you who think i'm chillin w/ my pasta and vino every night and polishing off a good meal with some limoncello - i haven't had any limoncello to tell you the truth.  or pasta for that matter.  

also i can't bring myself to go out by myself for more than an hour or two.  i don't know what it is, but i feel so out of place. (i wonder why?! maybe because i'm in a strange country..) and i feel like people on the street can see that, which is ridiculous.  but it's this strange fear i've developed.  i've never liked to be by myself but i didn't think i couldn't handle being on my own.  i feel like i don't know what do or where to go, and if i get lost i am in a strange country and will not be able to communicate (which is ridiculous, because i can).  so instead i revert to staying inside all day and reading or doing some work (or writing my blog) and basically trying everything i can to NOT face the things i need to.  so there's my prayer request all.  the beautiful roman holiday is over, and i need to figure out what i am meant to do here.

and please let me make this disclaimer:  mostly for my mother, so she doesn't freak out.  i am having a wonderful time here.  please don't mistake this blog entry for anything that it's not.  i'm simply at a point in my trip where i have to take some action and i have some apprehensions.  i miss the comforts of home on a cold rainy day like this and i felt like venting to all of you.  this was bound to happen at some point, and rocio is here with me and we're going to watch a movie because it's a crap day.  and tomorrow if all goes to plan we are going to assisi so that shall really be wonderful! but if you could all keep me in your prayers for what god has planned for me next, it would be greatly appreciated. love you all.  finding nemo awaits.. ;)

when in rome try and not get hit by the pope.

so rocìo and i got tickets to go to the papal audience today.  

yesterday, swiss guard: "tre ragazze? (three girls?) ok."

i didn't know it was so easy to go see the pope!  so this was his first papal audience since vacation.  we got there at 8:30 even though it didn't start until 10:30.  there were HUNDREDS of people there when we arrived.  all waiting to go see the pope.  people from all over the world.  the presentation was read (in order) in: Italian, German, French, English, Spanish, and Russian/Polish - all done by the pope.  there was a choir form the US who all jumped up and sang 'god bless america'.  it wouldn't have been so cute if they weren't all old and in their baby blue choir robes (they were pretty good too.)  we actually had great seats about 40 rows back.  this thing felt like a freaking rock concert.  all these people screaming for the pope.  the air was filled with such excitement to see him it was like a bunch of 17 year old girls seeing justin timberlake.  and everyone shut up when the pope talked.  he doesn't seem like he likes to be interrupted.  so it was a great experience and he did a blessing over the whole room for any articles people might have had.  

so then rocìo and i were walking on a side street to go see if a church nearby had mass at that time, and i'm crossing the street (which isn't that big) and a police car comes around the corner.  i started to cross again and then two swanky mercedes with police lights come by (that usually means someone important) and i literally have to scoot back so i don't get hit (they like to drive fast here).  i look in the first one and there's an old man dressed in white in the back seat.  who else dresses in white who would be in that area in a black swanky car?!  you should have seen our faces.  i said "umm..rocìo i think we were almost just hit by the pope's car."  there's a story for the kids.

i'll have an old-fashioned please..

so i MAY have bought an old-fashioned pen yesterday.  yes, i do believe i'm the only person who would come to rome and buy a pen as a souvenier.  but hey, it's so beautiful!  and it comes with a red ink well to write with. whatever i love it.  i'm currently sitting in front of my window listening to the traffic below and practicing my cursive with my new pen (because you should really only write cursive with a pen like this).  granted my computer is also here, but i'm pretending like it's not.  

rome is so romantic.  it's true what they say.  and i don't mean i'm planning to run off and frolick through the streets with some italian stallion (which also, i haven't seen too many of.  and the ones i have seen are all in business suits and look really important so i shy away..).  this city is so ancient, it's streets are whispering of centuries past.  the cobblestone are worn but still holding strong, and every door, shutter, and fountain is adorned with some sort of filegre.  there is a pianist across the street who i listen to play over the muttled italian being spoken below on the street.  the air smells like bread and right now the crisp night air is wafting in my room.  if that doesn't make you feel romantic i don't know what does.

even the cappuccino have hearts!

so although i would like to whip up a victorian day dress and wander the street, i fear my fellow italians would not get it.  besides, my fantasy wouldn't be complete without everyone dressing the same as me.  anyway, i guess italy will do that to you. and although this has been lovely i suppose i shall leave you to go write my world famous novel of love and loss...and watch the stars. ;)

don't say "sono eccitata" unless you mean you're aroused.

me and my new amici eating gelato

è vero.  i keep saying "i'm excited!" about stuff.  not exactly the word-age i should be using.  just one of the hilarious things i am confusing here in italy.  rocio says to me yesterday, "say 'sono contenta' not 'eccitata' unless you mean in the sexual sense".  oops.  my bad.

things are a bit different here in italia.

1. americans are OCD about cleanliness, using clorox to clean everything.  and then we wear flip flops.  they will know you are american here by your flip flops.  why are we so crazy clean about everything else and then we wear these little slips of rubber that get our feet FILTHY.  i guess i've become italian in that way.  no more flip flops. 

2. no one cares about fashion.  YES - this country has some of the best fashion in the world...but then again so does ours.  they love united colors of beneton here.  who knew?!  but unlike the US they are NOT obsessed with weight and everyone looks pretty normal here.  a little flabby - it's ok!  super skinny - so not ok.   everyone dresses comfortably and honestly they just don't give a shit if their shoes don't match their shirt (i still do...).

3. the cappuccino here are divine.  they are heaven.  if heaven were coffee that is.  i don't know what it is, but i could drink them all day.

4. the italians really do like to take it easy.  no one is in a rush - and since i'm in no rush i fit right in!  get it done when you can.  the sales clerks will get to you when they are done with their phone call.  it's not rudeness - it's a different mentality.  they will serve you in a moment.  they recognize you are there.  just give them a minute. 

5. finally, the people i have met here and made friends with are such powerful believers in Christ that i am overwhelmed.  i keep crying! (and i don't cry.  not even at bambi).  i have met some truly amazing people.  we go to mass every day and it is beautiful.  i still don't get it all - but it's beautiful none the less.  i am learning more about god and what i need to grow in my faith every day.  if i had to leave tomorrow, i will leave a better person. granted, we will always always be growing in our faith, but i feel more than ever the UNIMAGINABLE love that god has for us and it makes me fall to my knees and cry.  there is nothing more beautiful in the world than knowing that.  take a bite of that and chew on it...

shy carrie?

yeah i didn't think it was possible either..  

so i'm here in rome, getting settled.  rocio has been amazing taking me everywhere and whenever i get stuck on a word she's there to fix it.  i need to get a little thing we call patience, because instead of continually working on my language skills i get frustrated every time i slip up.  it's a whole different part of the brain, and although i like to think i am an aural learner, sometimes they are talking so dang fast i can't get but two words they said.  my brain literally shuts down at night and i can't do it anymore.  although, i suppose i should give myself a little credit, i have only been here 4 days.  but when i tell people i minored in italian at university they look at me like i'm joking.  seriously folks, the united states language learning system is not the best thing in the world.  even in college.  people here speak 2 or 3 languages, and i had a 17 yr. old italian girl explaining the basics of italian to me the other night because she thought i didn't know them.  there's one to kill your pride.  

perhaps that is what i need right now as well.  i need to be humbled into knowing that i have to work at this to make it work.  yes, it's hard work - but is that not the reason i came here?  rocio is fabulous at italian, but rocio also speaks spanish - so i guess that helps her.  

anyway, so now i'm the shy girl because every time i try to add something into a conversation it takes me a few seconds to form the phrase, and then they are already past what i've tried to add.  it's kind of funny anyway.  my face must look ridiculous with struggle.  take a mental picture...  we'll see how i feel by the end of this week.  i'm positive i will progress (i mean...i better dammit!).  so that is for today.  i slept pretty much all day today.  i'm SOOO not used to this schedule of rising early and going to bed late.  mamma mia.  

ciao for now tutti!

Roma, my new Homa

So now we're on day two in Italia.  My mission - find an apartment.  No easy task to say the least, ESPECIALLY when you consider I'm looking to spend 200-300 Euro a month which is pretty much unheard of in a town like this.  Rome is in the center of Italy, and frankly they like to think they are the center of the world (and in a way, they kind of are..).  To give you a notion at the difficulty of the task at hand, Rome is basically New York with a bunch of ancient stuff strewn throughout. It is a HUGE city, with many little suburbs that I know nothing about.  (reminder: I'm trying to find a room in the place, IN A DAY.)  Ok.  So now I meet up with Rocio (after I figure out how to buy a bus ticket) and we venture off to have lunch, etc.  We end up at her apartment and I meet some of her friends (who are wonderful...another post.)

Rocio's place is bit different that I had first imagined.  I thought she was living in a convent- what I told all of you undoubtedly.  No - she lives in a sort of boarding house for girls (and women) run by nuns and in the center of historic Rome.  It's a kind of dorm like situation - there are communal showers, a dining area, a living room, and tow refrigerators who god knows how many people.  There are countless numbers of rooms and many of the girls who stay here are students or working , but some are here just to live.  So, we're sitting in Rocio's room discussing this apartment I was supposed to check out that night.  I find out it's about 30 min. away from the center of Rome, and in not such a great area.  I mean the area is okay, but let's be honest here - I'm a 23 year old female, who doesn't speak Italian well, oh and who's American.  Not a good combo for a semi-shady neighborhood (kind of like south philly i'm told..).  Anyway, It dawns on us to find out if there is a free room here, in the boarding house.  So, we trot downstairs and sure enough there is a room until the end of September. And VOILA!  My new home!  I'm in the same building as Rocio and my roommate Antonella is FABULOUS and from Sicily.  Apparently if I can understand her, I can understand anyone.

It's quiet and comfortable and safe.  To find a room in the center of Rome with my budget that is clean and safe is just unheard of.  On top of that, to find it in ONE DAY is unbelievable.  God has placed me in a safe hands here in Rome, and if this isn't a testimony to that, I don't know what is.  It is truly an amazing blessing, and although I will have to find a place in October, I am so thankful that I am secure for now.

Oh. did I mention the Pantheon is around the corner? yeah.  it is. 

love overload

so here we are.  i'm finally here and getting settled.  i can't tell you all how at ease my travel has been.  i don't feel scared or nervous. (oh, except my italian sucks.  i have to practice hard core.)  i feel humbled and know that this is going to be a good thing, no matter how long this lasts.  

i truly feel that i am so calm because of all of you.  i know that i have so many people back home who are behind me and just loving me and praying for me and you have no idea how comforting it is to know that.  you all made it very hard to leave.  i never expected in my life i would be so deeply loved by so many people.  what i mean to say is - you are lucky to have a few people you can count on in your life.  i have so many people that i have true deep connections with that it's almost absurd.  how do i have time for you all?!  

it's not everyday that someone packs up two suitcases and a bit of cash and gets on a plane.  i would not have the courage i have without the love of god and love you have all given me.  and now i'm getting repetitive - but i wanted to make that all clear!

ok so enough of that.  rome is beautiful and scary and big.  everyone speaks italian, REALLY fast.  rocio says they pretend not to like americans (just for fun i guess) and then warm up to you eventually.  the US dollar sucks compared to the Euro and i have no idea what it's going to be like to get out there and try to get a job.  but perhaps i should take a few days to take it all in... i think that's a good idea.  i'll get back to you soon amici!

a presto,

carrie