More thoughts on Christmas...

I should probably put a "Deeply Spiritual and Mind Provoking" on this post...read on at your own risk.

I would rather not use my blog as a podium to preach on, “I believe this..”  “I can’t believe that..” However, after listening to the podcast of another dead-on sermon by Geoff Bradford (of Liberti Church) I feel I should confess a few things. 

I found myself getting irrationally angry at a cozy romantic Christmas commercial the other day.  I don’t watch much TV here in Italy, and we normally don’t get westernized commercials like those broadcasted in America.  So, for me to see a happy couple fawning over each other on the television, I felt like the ostentatious romanticism that comes along with an American Christmas was following me to Italy.  When in actuality, I know why I saw that commercial. 

I have long prided myself on being a fabulous “independent woman” (which I no doubt am…) and I would be the first one to bark at someone for insinuating I find a boyfriend, or roll my eyes at a girl in love.  There is a fine line between being secure enough with myself to not need another person to “complete me” and letting that image poison any notion of loving another. 

I think we can all attest to the awful mix of joy and pain in the holiday season.  Even as a Christian, I often find myself feeling empty around this time of year, dreading being the only one without a date on Christmas, dreading the inevitable inquiries from family to my romantic life, and those awful commercials, films, and advertisements that scream “You need someone on Christmas!” 

Geoff’s sermon focuses on the hurt and dissatisfaction that many of us feel around the holidays.  It is only human nature that we long for things.  In fact, I’m pretty sure you’d get a roll of the eyes if you ran around telling people how happy and content you are with everything in your life.  Well, the people of Israel were dissatisfied and hurting too.  They had waited almost four hundred years without a word from God, and then he delivered them a savior. 

God knows how dissatisfied we are.  God wants us to confess our longings and desires to him.  Only then can he begin to heal our wounds that we think are too deep to repair.  Christmas is the perfect time to confess our longings, just as I am to you.  It is the perfect time to be honest and humble, saying, “I know I am broken, and sad, and long for things other than what I claim.”  Believe me, putting this on paper (virtual paper), and clicking “publish post” was not an easy thing to do.  Why do I want all my friends and family who read this blog to know my innermost weaknesses?  It may seem strange to some but for me, this is me, telling you, that I am broken, and long for things that I often claim I don’t.   Even as a “Christian”, I turn away from my Gods saving grace, and seep deeper into my little pool of self-pity. 

If you’ve actually reached this far, and are not completely confused/annoyed/bored, I ask that you too be honest in this Christmas time.  When we are honest with ourselves and our loved ones about our flaws, we are being honest with God.  I know that every drop of insecurity I have been telling you is washed away by the salvation that I get in Jesus Christ, even if it does take a lot of prying and crying to get it out of me.  I am not perfect, in fact I am the opposite, but I can rest in the joy that this season brings, because this season brings me a savior…and Lord knows I’m in need of one.