crap

i think the cosmic forces may be trying to keep me in italy.  i've had a very calm several months months here, and now and without a hitch EERthing is taking a turn.  well, for one, i'm getting attached to those little balls of italian joy.  although, i wouldn't mind NOT waking up at 6:30 am to screaming children.  none the less.  it makes me really sad to think of leaving them.  

numero due.  NOW, i'm being pursued by a teacher...with whom i am going to meet next week.  i mean - in all due respect, it's about dang time.  i can blame myself for that one.  i could have been searching harder.  anyway, we'll see how that goes.  if the cosmos have anything to do w/ it, he'll be the best teacher i've ever met and i'll never want to leave. 

oh, did i mention it's absolutely beautiful in rome now?  yeah.  there's a reason people come here in the spring.  damn. 

simple things.

does life get any better than counting flowers?  i don't think so.  can we even begin to try and remember the simpleness of being a child?  i see so much of myself in camilla (she's the older one, who is counting of course.) most of the time she's drifting off into another land, talking to some of her imaginary friends, or singing some song that she just invented.  

i know i used to call my friend "mary" on the phone when i was little.  and i can actually remember sitting in my grandparent's kitchen, talking to the dial-tone until the operator picked up.  then i would get scared and hang up. but i can't remember the simpleness.  i can't remember that carefree joy of being a child (even though i like to pretend i still am one.   you should see the poofy dress i want to get for these weddings!)  i remember collecting little glass perfume samples, dumping out the samples, and then filling them with little fragments of flowers and pine needles with stephanie and kaitlyn.  man.  those were the DAYS.  does anyone else feel me on this one?  my friend jen is pregnant (and is going to be HUGE when i see her!!!).  jen, you are growing someone in you who will experience all of these marvelous things!  although, i think he'll be putting bugs in bottles, not flowers.  but you never know.  don't want to discriminate.

anyway, i'm reminded of the simple joys in life everyday:  like snow white and the seven dwarves.  scissors.  petting dogs.  parks.  a piece of chocolate.  sunshine.  juice.  laughing.  ESPECIALLY kids laughing.  how many steps before the queen.  twirling.  dirt.  balloons.  

and that's just to name a few.  so PLEASE, do me a favor and remind me to stop worrying about tomorrow, and what kind of job i'm going to get, and losing weight, and being tired, or OVER-SLEEPING.  and remind yourself of whatever it is you need not be stressin'.  

reason #357 why i wish i was italian:

no it's not because of their freak metabolisms that let them eat pounds of pasta and still remain a size 2 (that's reason #24).  and it's not because God decided to make them prettier than most other people on the planet.  

reason #357 i wish i were italian is - they are badass grandmas (and grandpas for those masculine out there).  listen.  i figure you reach eighty-something years old and your done.  you glue yourself to a recliner pass out watching jeopardy.  it's cool.  i had come to terms with that.  but these italians...i dunno, maybe it's the wine, maybe it's the pizza, but they keep rollin..  

i'm on the bus.  who are the other 10 people on the bus?  anziani (old people).  i started paying attention after awhile - about 80% of the people on the bus are elderly.  and they STAND.  i offer my seat (yes.  i sit.  if there's a seat, i sit).  they decline.  now i look lazy.  great.  remember the post office?  they were all standing.  

stairs.  if you have ever been to rome, you would know that most of the buildings are hella old and don't have elevators.  you get used to it after awhile.  the four flights up to the school where i teach still sucks though.  anyway,  who lives in these old buildings?  old people.  climbing stairs.  

i swear if i mentioned "retirement home" or some other similar facility - italians wouldn't know what i'm talking about....because they rock out until they die.  hence, why i wish i were italian.  the end.

generazione cellulare

she's a natural.

my grocery list

arugula

parmesano reggiano

sun-dried tomatoes

onions

tuna

fresh mozzarella

risotto

salmon

wine

chocolate

i wonder if this will change when i get home?

cheers.

thanks to all who are concerned about my friend.  since i'm abroad and all i don't have much info...but really the only thing we can do is pray.  pray hard.  thanks for your concerns.  it's good to know that people are praying "six degrees of kevin bacon" style.

not cool.

not exactly sure how i'm supposed to go into this after "wig fetish". guess i'll just dive in.

some of my readers are already aware of the following.  to the others, all seven of you, please use this entry to remember all we've got in this life.

a friend of mine was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  i found out only a few moments ago it's stage IV breast cancer.  any of you who've seen "wit" will know that it's incurable.  she's 24.  

i wish i had something witty or uplifting to say.  i don't.  my brain is currently telling me that it's incapable of processing such news and has caused different parts of my body to act strangely, for example, my stomach currently feels like it's in my throat.  despite this horrifying news, my friend is actually a mountain of faith - and is currently affecting more people than she could possibly even know through her strength.  i, on the other hand, feel weak, and a mess.  not only is it terrifying to have to think about cancer at 24, it's terrifying to think of how i would be in this situation.

i know that's incredibly morbid to think - but i know you've all thought it.  when something bad happens to someone what do you do?  if you're as selfish as i am, you think "wow.  what would i do if that were me?".  in response to that question, i don't really know.  i know my faith is strong, i know that god is going to use this situation to bring so much glory...but i haven't been doing my part.  i fall way short.  and i know, we all fall short.  we're not perfect.  but you've got to try dammit.  if you want to stay healthy, can you continue to eat donuts everyday?  and shouldn't you add some exercise into your daily life?  (those are two places i fall short for sure - i'm lucky if i do yoga every other day. and my donuts are currently croissants).  if i want to love people better, and live the life i know god wants me to lead - shouldn't i pray more?  (b/c believe you me....i don't do it even half as much as i should) and even worse - shouldn't i be reading the bible, the one and only source of my lord and god, everyday?  the answer is most definitely yes.  i should be.  and i'm not. 

today also happens to be ash wednesday.  i told eva and camilla today begins the forty days that jesus was in the desert without food or water.  the man died for me.  i don't think i give him the time of day sometimes.  not cool.  very traditionally, christians usually fast during the lenten time.  i usually fast from sweets (difficult.  i know.).  is fasting from sweets really my ode to jesus' sacrifices for me?  no.  actually i think it's a way to get skinnier.  again.  so not cool.  my mom told me today that she's going to try and give herself more to the people she loves, and people in need.  my mom is an amazing woman.  and as i just got a spiritual slap in the face, i'm going to try and stop slacking - and be the person god wants me to be.  i know it's probably someone pretty awesome.  after all, this is the only life we got.