not cool.

not exactly sure how i'm supposed to go into this after "wig fetish". guess i'll just dive in.

some of my readers are already aware of the following.  to the others, all seven of you, please use this entry to remember all we've got in this life.

a friend of mine was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  i found out only a few moments ago it's stage IV breast cancer.  any of you who've seen "wit" will know that it's incurable.  she's 24.  

i wish i had something witty or uplifting to say.  i don't.  my brain is currently telling me that it's incapable of processing such news and has caused different parts of my body to act strangely, for example, my stomach currently feels like it's in my throat.  despite this horrifying news, my friend is actually a mountain of faith - and is currently affecting more people than she could possibly even know through her strength.  i, on the other hand, feel weak, and a mess.  not only is it terrifying to have to think about cancer at 24, it's terrifying to think of how i would be in this situation.

i know that's incredibly morbid to think - but i know you've all thought it.  when something bad happens to someone what do you do?  if you're as selfish as i am, you think "wow.  what would i do if that were me?".  in response to that question, i don't really know.  i know my faith is strong, i know that god is going to use this situation to bring so much glory...but i haven't been doing my part.  i fall way short.  and i know, we all fall short.  we're not perfect.  but you've got to try dammit.  if you want to stay healthy, can you continue to eat donuts everyday?  and shouldn't you add some exercise into your daily life?  (those are two places i fall short for sure - i'm lucky if i do yoga every other day. and my donuts are currently croissants).  if i want to love people better, and live the life i know god wants me to lead - shouldn't i pray more?  (b/c believe you me....i don't do it even half as much as i should) and even worse - shouldn't i be reading the bible, the one and only source of my lord and god, everyday?  the answer is most definitely yes.  i should be.  and i'm not. 

today also happens to be ash wednesday.  i told eva and camilla today begins the forty days that jesus was in the desert without food or water.  the man died for me.  i don't think i give him the time of day sometimes.  not cool.  very traditionally, christians usually fast during the lenten time.  i usually fast from sweets (difficult.  i know.).  is fasting from sweets really my ode to jesus' sacrifices for me?  no.  actually i think it's a way to get skinnier.  again.  so not cool.  my mom told me today that she's going to try and give herself more to the people she loves, and people in need.  my mom is an amazing woman.  and as i just got a spiritual slap in the face, i'm going to try and stop slacking - and be the person god wants me to be.  i know it's probably someone pretty awesome.  after all, this is the only life we got.

wig fetish?

maybe it was the air.  maybe it was the booze.  maybe it was the fact that i was wearing a bright pink wig.   whatever it was, people were extremely friendly with sue and i this past carnevale weekend.  SO friendly that we were almost victims of the "accidental mouth kiss" (several different times!). you know how the italians always kiss both cheeks, european style? well, what do you do when the guy come a little to close to the mouth?  answer:  smile awkwardly and stroll away.  even the door man at the hotel tried to get some.  does my pink wig make me look like i'm gonna give it up to whoever asks?  i certainly hope not.  in actuality, it's PROBABLY because i was nice.  NEVER be nice to italian men.  or men from bangladesh (in the door man's case).  or men in general.  that's the moral of this story.  

p.s. i looked up wig fetishes.  google doesn't recognize them - but i'm convinced they exist.  

countdown to carnevale!

Carnevale or Carnival is probably the most famous thing to come out of Venice (besides the whole city on water thing..).  Carnevale is a festival that starts on St. Stephen's Day (Dec. 26) and lasts to Ash Wednesday.  The Italian Carnevale of Venice dates back to the 12th century, where people dawned the famous masks and had luxurious parties complete with gluttony, adultery, and all those other deadly sins.  

I will be one of those fabulous people in 48 hours!  okay, minus a few deadly sins..  i am taking the night train to venice, arriving at 5:30am (what the hell am i supposed to do at 5:30am?), and partying until i drop.  I hope the dropping doesn't happen until Sunday morning when I grab another train back to Rome.  Sounds insane, I know...but NOT experiencing the famous Venetian Carnival would be a travesty.  Ideally, I would be attending one of those fabulously outrageous parties, in the most fabulous ball gown and powdered wig one can find - BUT i am one of the unfortunate poor and don't have 400 euro to spend on a ticket.  although, they all have some very wonderful entertainment.  maybe i could snag a gig for next year!  here's hoping.  oh well, i'm not bothered...i will dawn my mask with sue (my partner in crime, who's currently teaching in milan) and we'll eat, drink, and be merry (and did i mention FREEZING) for a whole 24 hours.  the pictures are going to be CRAZY!  stay tuned..

obsessed much?

since i need to turn off my brain at the end of the day (much like all of us)  i've taken up watching several shows online - and by several i mean two:  the office and scrubs.  now that i've thoroughly exhausted those two shows i've moved on to LOST (i know i'm SOOO behind.).

question:  what genius made EVERYONE on LOST unbelievably beautiful?  THANK YOU.

lovers and haters.

naturally, this week's lessons were devoted to the ever popular valentine card project.  however, when i asked my students what was special about February 14th, i received some blank stares - and no, it wasn't because they didn't understand what i asked.  once again, italy rolls it's eyes at an american making a fuss.  granted, we all know that valentine's day is just a overly commercialized hallmark holiday.  and i'm sure there are plenty of gents out there secretly wishing they didn't have to spend that sixty dollars on roses.  actually, come to think of it - i did see one girl with a bouquet of flowers yesterday.  

it's all so interesting to me - to see this from the other side.  i can recall going to school in all black on valentine's day (don't judge me - i was a thesbian).  i can also recall having a kickass valentine's meal w/ mark - still remains to be one of the best meals i've ever had.  and the most expensive.  (love you!)  there is this constant war between the masses with holidays such as this.  the lovers and the haters.  

the lovers.  for some, it's romantic...all the fuss and flowers.  for others, it's a forced night of spending lot of money, or as this some-ecard so perfectly addresses...perhaps it's vanity that makes us celebrate valentine's day.

the haters.  believe me.  i feel you - it sucks to be repeatedly reminded that you're single. but let's put valentine's day aside for a moment.  is it any suckier today than it was yesterday? ladies (and gentlemen), the more we focus on the negatives of singleness, the more we're going to miss about it when we're not single anymore.  it's not that single people don't have love.  we all have love, and lot's of it.  so instead of limiting this holiday to the romantic folk - let's celebrate loving in general.  

one last note - aside from the lack of recognition for st. valentine's day, italians don't use "i love you" very often.  it is reserved solely for those in serious relationships or married.  and when you DO say "i love you" to someone, it's a BIG deal.  italian's use the darling phrase "ti voglio bene"  or...literally translated "i want you well".  well, honestly our equivalent would be "i care for you very much".  you say this to your mom, dad, grandma, close friends.  you would by no means ever say "ti amo" to your dad.  that would be very edipus...  it really makes you think - do we throw around the L-word too much?  

un bel sopresa

many people are asking what i am doing with myself here in italy, so i'll give you an account of any given day in my roman life.  brace yourselves, it's QUITE riveting.

6:30am - i awake, or rather, am waken, by screaming children

7:00am - after brushing my teeth and dressing with my eyes closed, i get the girls dressed

8:00am - off to school we go.

9:00am - lessons.  everyday.  different places throughout rome.  lots of 'cafe' is involved

1:00pm - pause for lunch.  more 'cafe'

4:00pm (sometimes 2:30 on swim days!) - time to get the girls once more

5:00pm - try and keep small children from eating something inedible

8:00pm - grazie dio.  bedtime for the little ones.

so there you go.  however, i was pleasantly surprised on monday (a swim day) when natalia was in rome with us because her show was in a nearby town.  she had a ticket for a friend, who could not come, so she asked if i would like to come!

there i was, driving in a town car with natalia and vittorio viviani (a fairly famous italian actor) to the theater.  the show is titled "La Commedia di Candido" or "The Comedy of Candide".  It's a farce on the obvious, Candide by Voltaire. Vittorio plays Diderot, Rousseau, and then of course, Voltaire - in three separate acts, all the while trying to discover more about the scandalous Candide.  

Natalia plays his opposite in every act, and let me tell you...she is fabulous.  I may not have understood everything, but I couldn't stop laughing!  

The best part about the whole thing is that these actors are doing what they love, and making it work.  i'm not saying it doesn't come with a price.  natalia is spending many months away from her children, and only getting to see them every few weekends. hopefully, life will be easier once they all relocate to milan.  however, that aside, she gives me hope!  so attention all you whimsical artists out there - let's rock this bitch.

and now for the weather..

i know that ya'll are freezing your little tailbones off - and for this i am truly sorry.  in consolation, APPARENTLY this is a record year of rain in rome.  i can't help but hear travis's "why does it always rain on me?" in my head.  seriously though, i keep saying that the grass better be really freaking green come march or i'm gonna be pissed.  

that aside, i figured january and february were going to suck.  well, january was no field day (since i spent most of it wishing sarah and liz were still here) but i got the first sign that things are looking up the other day - seagulls!  oh crap, i forgot - rome is right near the sea!  the mediterranean sea!  oh boy.  hecks yes i will be at the beach every waking moment come spring.  so far i've only seen the seaside from a distance, via train, and even then it was breathtaking.  i'm pretty sure these next three months are going to be sweeeettttt.  then i'm homeward bound.

oh.  did i mention that?  i'm stateside may 11th folks!  as the days go by, it gets freakishly closer and closer.  start planning my glorious "welcome back" party.  do those exist?  they do now! 

why you can't hang out w/ italians..

while i'm secretly hoping no italians read this, i'll shout out a disclaimer that there are a FEW italians whom i have met and not applied to this criteria.  however, 99% of this blog has faired true for me.

MEN:  i know all of you are dying for me to find some italian hottie to bring home with me.  actually, i wouldn't mind it either. HOWEVER, italian men are impossible to talk to.  i know it's difficult to tell if a girl is into you or not, i know this.  we are a complicated being.  knowing this fact, i try to be as explicit as possible usually saying things like, "well, i'm just not interested in a relationship right now."  which translates to italian men:  "cool, so we can just sleep together".  no, not really.  then i try and pull the christian card.  "well, i'm not sleeping with anyone until i'm married."  common response:  "yeah, OKAY."  on the same note, my friend vera, gets different abuse.  she's married (and that's SO weird to be married at 23), guys feel no remorse for hitting on her.  to an italian man, she is just as single as any other woman.  it's absurd.  needless to say, i've given them a shot.  this door is closed.

WOMEN:  well, i suppose i don't have much to say about the women since none of them talk to you.  supposedly, the farther north you travel in italy, the colder the people are.  since rome is smack-dab in the middle, you find a mix of people.  as far as women are concerned, they pretty much will not speak to you unless having some sort of connection.  if i go to a bar, i would go to the male barista rather than the female - mainly because i know i will get a better cappuccino.  the men want to do you, and the women want nothing to do with you. that's pretty much how it goes here.  now, this being said, i have met some very lovely women here.  it just took a while.  also, since italian women don't give men the time of day, the men flock towards us foreigners, hoping for a glimpse of kindness.  don't give in girls, if you do they'll stalk you like a hawk after a cadaver.